Chapter 183: Father’s Waiting (3)
It had started snowing softly, but as the night wore on, the snowfall thickened, carpeting the ground beneath the midnight moonlight. The white field of snow took the first imprint of their footsteps. Count Frontera turned to the side as the crunching noise of the footsteps whispered in his ears.
“I hope you are not cold,” said Count Frontera.
“I am not. Not very much,” Lloyd replied, and the count grinned as he glanced sideways at his son, who was walking beside him. Seeing Lloyd by his side pleased him. His heart was bursting with contentment.
“I am afraid that I am pestering you,” said the count.
“Not at all. I am fine,” said Lloyd.
“Are you starting to feel tired?” asked the count again.
“Not yet.”
“Should we,” suggested the count, “walk a little longer then?”
“I was just about to suggest that we do.”
“Haha. My boy.”
He laughed again. Count Frontera felt happy every time he looked at Lloyd. He even hated that the foggy breath coming from his laughter momentarily hid Lloyd’s face. The count was on cloud nine as he strolled through the night.
I will have to say goodbye to him for a while again.
Lloyd had just returned from Namaran after a long period of time, but he was set to leave again after a few days. He was to join the envoys and travel to the sultan’s kingdom. When will he return then? Next spring when the flowers bloom? It was because of this sorrowful thought that the count abruptly suggested a night stroll when Lloyd visited his study.
“Tell me if you are feeling cold or tired,” said the count, “a long journey awaits you tomorrow morning.”
“Don’t worry. I’m not very tired.”
“Is that so?”
“Yes.”
Silence again. The two walked side by side, sometimes one taking the lead. They held out their hands when their path turned slippery. Just like that, they strolled around the hills, stone walls, and woods. The count suddenly was hit with memories of the past, and as he glanced at the snow piling on his son’s shoulder, he started to take a trip down memory lane.
“You know,” the count started, “when I was young…”
Lloyd quietly listened as he kept pace with the count.
“I despised this fiefdom,” the count said as he collected his breath. “I was frustrated, bored, and sick of it.”
Count Frontera smiled faintly. He really was tired of it at the time. When he was 17 years old, this fiefdom felt like a giant fence that locked him up.
“I thought it was too rural. I was not happy that I had to spend the rest of my life as a small noble in the middle of nowhere.”
“Was it because you were ambitious?” asked Lloyd.
“Ambition… I can’t say. I was young, I suppose.” The count chuckled, but no sound came out. “I wanted to do something. Something grand and shiny, not this boring life in the province. Would it be funny if I tell you I wanted to be in the big league? Anyway, I wanted to make a name for myself. So, I decided to do it. I left home.”
“Wait, did you run away from home?” Lloyd glanced at the count, his one eyebrow quirking up to reflect his surprise.
“Hmm…”
The count gave him a bitter smile.
“Run away?” continued the count. “It’s a bit of an embarrassing way to put it, but I cannot find a retort back. Yes, you are right. I ran away from home. I left this fiefdom in the middle of the night riding the very horse your grandfather cherished very much, without any notice. It’s fair to say I ran away.”
“Yes, you certainly did.”
“Could it be the reason why? Was I getting punished for it? My life afterward was filled with hardship.”
“By hardships, you mean…” mumbled Lloyd.
“I volunteered for the mercenary in my desire to succeed on my own and prove that I was capable. Then I regretted it.” The count smiled bitterly.
“Imagine it,” he went on, “I was just a seventeen-year-old kid who had no experience with swords other than swinging them around my guards as practice. Who would hire me? That was why the commander barely put me to proper work. Three months of chores, and that was it.”
“You must have been sorely disappointed,” said Lloyd.
“Yes, at first. I wondered if this was all I was capable of. But I endured. I endured believing that my time would come. And my, it really did.”
“How?”
“I met a girl there.”
“Oh,” said Lloyd, his eyes shining for a second.
The count smiled.
“I think it was snowing like this. The commander called me, and there I saw a girl about my age captured there. A big crime she committed, he said. That she will be sold for slavery. He told me to watch her so she would not run away.”
“Then?”
“I asked the girl secretly,” the count went on, “whether it was true. She told me that it was a lie. The truth is that the commander and his team had ransacked her village. That was when I realized.”
“That the mercenary group looted and robbed villages when they were out of work,” Lloyd joined.
“Yes. That was why he put me to chores and nothing else,” agreed Count Frontera.
“What did you do after you learn that?” asked Lloyd, piqued.
“I ran away. With the girl.”
“All safe and well?”
“No.”
The count grinned.
“We fled at midnight, and we were being chased even before the sun rose. So, we galloped, everything around us growing hazy. Of course, with the girl behind my back.”
The count’s gaze moved to the falling snow, and he spoke, his eyes traveling back in time.
“We ran for our lives. But how tenacious they were. We could not get rid of them no matter how far we ran. And on the sixth day, we were surrounded.”
“But given that you are all alive now, I suppose it didn’t end badly?” asked Lloyd.
“It did not. Your grandfather showed up.” The count paused before continuing to talk. “Unbeknownst to me, we were near the western border of my fiefdom when we were captured. I was too busy that I could see it. Thankfully, my father found me. He had been patrolling the fiefdom every day at all hours since I left home.”
“In case you came back home?” asked Lloyd.
“It must have been so. Anyway, he found us just in time and drove away our pursuers with his guards.”
“That concluded your life as a runaway?”
“Indeed. It also concluded the biggest adventure of my life.”
“Then what happened to the girl you came with?” asked Lloyd.
“She is your mother.”
“Woah.”
Lloyd let out an astonished sound, and now he understood how the count and countess maintained such a happy marriage. It never occurred to him that they had such a backstory.
“From then on, I realized dearly at last how much my father cherished me. The same way I cherish you, son,” the count said.
“…”
“Are you feeling shy?”
“Uh, um, it’s not that, but…”
“Then?”
“May I be frank?” asked Lloyd, almost mumbling.
“Yes.”
“I got goosebumps for a second there,” Lloyd said.
“Hmm? Hahaha!” The count broke into laughter.
“Please forgive me,” Lloyd replied.
“No, no,” the count said. “I can understand why.”
The count chuckled as he tapped Lloyd’s shoulder. But he didn’t really care whether Lloyd got goosebumps. If he could, he wanted to tell Lloyd more. I cherish you truly and sincerely. The grand masterpiece, the best chapter of my life is you, Lloyd. Please stay safe on this trip too. That would be more than enough for your old man. Count Frontera yearned to tell these things to Lloyd through the night even after midnight. But he suppressed his desire because he didn’t want to make Lloyd uncomfortable. And what’s more, he wanted to give his son time.
Until the day comes when you call me father again, Lloyd.
Some time ago, his son had completely changed from being a hooligan into an industrious, faithful man. But something else also changed. Lloyd stopped calling them “Father” or “Mother” altogether. Count Frontera was pleased and joyful about the change, but at the same time, wistful and sad, However, he resolved that there wasn’t any need to show it. Lloyd had to open his heart on his own. And as a parent, all he could do was wait until his son fully opened up to them. With such thoughts in mind, Count Frontera kept walking, with Lloyd by his side.
Whew…
Lloyd sighed internally. He, too, had discerned what was going on. He could not help but notice that the count and countess were bothered by his attitude and how he wasn’t calling them “Father” or “Mother.” He also knew that this saddened them, and they felt sorry about it. However, it wasn’t easy for him to act according to their wishes.
I’m sorry. But I don’t want to act with affectation.
The count and countess were good people. And Lloyd knew very well that they thought dearly of him. That was precisely why he didn’t want to be pretentious around them. He didn’t want to call them father and mother just to please them, as it would only mortify the good couple and be using their innocent hearts. Lloyd never ever wanted to do that. And that was why…
I’m sorry. Just give me some more time.
Until his heart is ready. Until he could nonchalantly brush off the pang of regret and guilt that attacked him for replacing their real son, Lloyd. Until he could come clean to them and bare his heart to them. When the very day came when everyone could accept each other as family, that would be the only time Suho would be qualified to call them his parents.
“I will try.”
In the lack of confidence to say it out loud, Lloyd just mumbled under his breath. And as the snow continued to fall, it was impossible for Lloyd to make out the count’s expression beside him. He simply couldn’t work up the courage to turn and look. But he could feel it somehow. Like a soft feather, like a night wearing on so comfortably, the moonlight caught the faint breath coming from the count. And Lloyd was sure. It was definitely a trace of a soundless, quiet smile.
The morning came, and Lloyd joined the envoys as expected. Of course, Javier was with them.
“Mwahaha.”
“Why are you… laughing so mischievously?” asked Javier.
“Does it irk you?”
“Yes. Very much.”
Javier frowned slightly at Lloyd’s question. He started to load his belongings on the back of the horse just a tad more roughly.
“Could it be because you are happy to take me with you?”
“Yeah,” answered Lloyd joyfully.
“Why does that make you happy?”
“Because I won’t have to suffer alone.”
“So sharing suffering makes you happy?”
“No.”
“Then?”
“I’m happy that you’re suffering with me.”
“…”
“It’s unfair that I’m the only one who has to go work there. So, I have to drag at least one person along on the trip. I’ll make him work together beside me. That way I’ll know that I’m not the only one plodding away, and that there’s at least one person going through the same thing as me. I won’t feel alone in my misery. Don’t you think that would give me comfort?”
“This devil…”
“Hm?” asked Lloyd, suddenly shooting a surprised glance at Javier. “What did you say?”
“I said you are a devil.”
“Why, yes, thank you.”
“…”
“Better than being a soft touch.”
Lloyd smirked as he stared at Javier, who started to laugh at his brazenness. And Javier secretly regretted that he didn’t call Lloyd a mole cricket. That could have been a more effective insult. Javier resolved that he would use it the next time. Meanwhile, the envoys were done packing and ready to go. The departure was nothing grand.
“I sincerely express my gratitude to Count Frontera for your unreserved hospitality during our stay here. So long then.”
With the comment of gratitude from Count Ventura, the envoys set off on their journey. Lloyd and Javier bid farewell to the count and countess and left. They headed to the east, climbed the eastern range, and then passed the wasteland, nearing the border of the sultan’s kingdom that sat in the east.
They revealed to the corps commander guarding the border that they were on a diplomatic visit. From then on, the journey became safer and more efficient. The envoys were the official diplomatic delegation dispatched by Queen Magentano, and thus, acted as her representative in sharing and defending her will. They received treatment and respect befitting of their status throughout the sultan’s kingdom territory. And at last, the envoys arrived at “Ahinsya,” the capital city. It had been 24 days since Lloyd left his fiefdom.
“Wow.”
Lloyd found himself exclaiming out loud after passing Ahinsya’s front gate.
What an exotic sight.
Far east from his fiefdom, and far southward from there. The climate was dry due to the location even though it was the middle of winter.
If I was a film director for Arabian Nights, then this place would be perfect for the shoot.
Arabian Nights. The city’s ambiance reminded him of the story. There were round roofs erected everywhere, and the walls were made of dried mud. The atmosphere was completely foreign and exotic to Lloyd.
“Please follow me.”
An official who seemed to be sent by the sultan came to escort the envoys and entered the kingdom. Lloyd was totally engrossed in seeing the structure of the palace.
Wow. This is pretty educational.
Lloyd was surrounded by foreign architecture. Certainly, he didn’t major in architecture, which was poles apart from civil engineering. But the two studies could be traced back to the same foundation. Accordingly, Lloyd’s eyes glimmered as he viewed the various styles and designs. And after a long escort, the reception room door opened, and inside was…
“Are you certain that you are not mistaken?”
Count Ventura’s voice was filled with dismay, which brought Lloyd to look into the hall. There was nothing there. It was extremely simple and austere to a fault. The narrow space seemed unfitting for the palace, and even the table and chairs felt out of place. Rather than simple, it looked cheap. No, it was too shoddy to be called cheap. In other words…
“There must have been a mistake. We are envoys who traveled a long way here to uphold the orders of Her Highness Alicia Termina Magentano. And yet, you present us with a reception room that does not suit our status. Is this where the sultan will meet us?”
Count Ventura’s gaze darted to the palace official as he asked, and the same look of confusion appeared on every member of the delegation. Meanwhile, Lloyd put on a faint smile.
Haha. Will you look at them?
Lloyd merely chuckled, almost certain that there was no mistake here. It was impossible for the sultan to be this clumsy. Therefore, it was an evident show of maltreatment. Lloyd plastered a wry smile as he read the room before the others did. Just then, the door inside the hall opened.