Chapter 394: This is a Philosophical Question About Lemons
As soon as he arrived at the film set the next day, Gu Zhiyuan waved at the set assistant, Old Zhang.
Old Zhang understood immediately, jogging over while carrying a cardboard box with a fruit market label on it.
He set it down on the ground with a thud.
Gu Zhiyuan pointed at the box.
“Jiang Ci, for the character Chen San, bitterness is the base color.”
“But he’s a cannon fodder extra who wants to be an actor. He has to learn to ‘find joy in hardship’.”
“Yesterday’s scene eating the boxed lunch was about survival. Now, I want you to perform a scene about ‘life’.”
Jiang Ci looked down.
The box was packed full of lemons.
Each one was a vibrant green, so fresh they made your jaw ache just looking at them.
“This scene is called ‘Sour and Astringent Life’.”
Gu Zhiyuan opened the storyboard notebook, pointing at a line of messy handwriting.
“To prove to the dancing girls who mocked him that he has acting skills, Chen San eats a raw lemon on the spot. My requirement is simple—”
Gu Zhiyuan held up one finger, his expression solemn. “You have to eat it in a way that conveys the bitterness of life. You have to make the audience feel their teeth ache through the screen, and even more, make their hearts ache.”
As soon as these words were spoken, the surrounding staff collectively gasped.
Here it comes.
Director Gu’s artistic pretentiousness is acting up again.
Yesterday’s scene eating the dirty meat was brutal enough, and now we’re getting a “lemon tearjerker”?
“Everyone, get ready!” The Assistant Director wiped his face.
“Lighting technician, dim the lights a bit, we need that oppressive atmosphere!”
The entire film crew of several dozen people entered battle mode.
Jiang Ci bent down, picking out a green lemon from the box that looked the sourest and had the thickest skin.
He weighed it in his hand.
His eyes changed.
They revealed a trace of inexplicable… confidence?
“All departments, positions!” Gu Zhiyuan raised the megaphone, his voice hoarse. “Scene 49, Take One! Chen San’s one-man show, Action!”
The camera pushed in.
Jiang Ci held the lemon, raised it above his head, and squinted at it against a beam of sunlight coming through a broken window.
His gaze was deep and affectionate.
Immediately after.
With his sleeve, already covered in dust, he wiped the lemon peel in an extremely affected manner.
Once, twice.
Then, he extended his pinky finger, adjusting the red tie around his neck that was already half broken.
He even used saliva to slick down the messy hair at his temples.
“What is he doing?”
The tissue Old Zhang was clutching froze in mid-air.
This opening posture… why does it look exactly like some fool going on a blind date?
Just as everyone was confused, Jiang Ci moved.
He directed a smile at the non-existent “dancing girls” in the air—a smile he thought was charming but was actually greasy to the extreme.
“Watch closely, big brother is going to show you something.”
Jiang Ci silently mouthed the words.
Then, he opened his mouth wide and aimed it at that green lemon.
Crunch!
He took a huge bite.
Skin, flesh, and juice splattered everywhere.
Jiang Ci’s body reacted instinctively.
The intense sour and astringent sensation shot straight to the crown of his head.
His facial features wanted to gather together at this moment, wanted to scrunch up into a chrysanthemum.
But he didn’t let them.
He was a cannon fodder extra with “dignity”. He was performing a talent show for beautiful women. He couldn’t break character!
Thus, an epic-level battle named “The Defense of the Facial Muscles” erupted on Jiang Ci’s face.
To maintain that “charming” smile, Jiang Ci desperately widened his eyes, trying to use the power of his eyes to fight against the contraction of his mouth.
The result was overexertion.
His left eyebrow flew up high like a startled caterpillar,
while the right corner of his mouth twitched uncontrollably due to the sourness.
“Mmm…”
A muffled groan escaped Jiang Ci’s throat.
While frantically chewing the bitter lemon peel, he still had to forcibly maintain his composure.
He tried to give the camera a wink.
But the current Jiang Ci had a lemon stuffed in his mouth, his facial features flying everywhere.
Thus, this wink that should have been handsome turned into a scene of catastrophic facial nerve necrosis.
His left eyelid twitched uncontrollably like crazy, while his right eye was wide open like a copper bell.
His mouth was crooked all the way to his ear, and his nostrils were flaring in and out.
Where was the bitterness?
This was clearly absurd comedy!
“Pfft—”
An untimely sound broke the silence of the film set.
It was the sound guy.
He really couldn’t hold it in. A mouthful of tea he had just sipped sprayed directly onto the mixing console.
Immediately after, the yellow-haired background actor who had been squatting in the corner wiping tears earlier
suddenly started trembling all over. He tightly covered his mouth with both hands, emitting a “kukuku” sound of air leaking.
It was too funny.
Really, too funny.
That desperate attempt to appear elegant, only to be ground into the dirt by physiological instinct,
created a kind of absurd hilarity.
Jiang Ci continued.
He swallowed the first bite, the sourness making his whole body tremble on the spot three times as if electrocuted.
He raised the half-eaten lemon again, facing the camera,
facing those non-existent viewers, and revealed a smile uglier than crying.
The final bite.
Jiang Ci stuffed the remaining half of the lemon into his mouth, chewing with a crunch-crunch sound.
He straightened his back, adjusted his collar.
Then, facing the camera, he bowed deeply.
Burp—
“This… is art.”
Jiang Ci straightened up, his eyes dazed, speaking with utmost seriousness.
The film set was completely silent for a full three seconds.
Then—
“HAHAHAHAHA!”
Explosive laughter erupted.
“Oh my god! No! I can’t take it anymore!”
“My goodness! Teacher Jiang’s expression! HAHAHA! I’m going to make it into a meme!”
“What the hell is this?! What happened to the heartache? I’m laughing so hard my stomach hurts!”
“That wink! Who understands, folks?! That wink that looked like a half-paralyzed stroke was pure genius!”
The film crew became a sea of joy.
Some were laughing so hard they were pounding the floor, others were laughing while leaning against the wall.
Even the usually aloof Lin Wan had turned her back now, her shoulders shaking violently, clearly trying hard to hold it in.
Jiang Ci stood in place, watching the crowd laughing hysterically, and let out a long sigh of relief in his heart.
“Teacher Jiang, you’re awesome!”
The yellow-haired background actor laughed until tears came out, giving Jiang Ci a thumbs-up.
“Seriously, just now watching you eat the lemon, I thought of every sad thing that’s ever happened to me in my life, and I still couldn’t hold it in!”
Jiang Ci proudly raised an eyebrow, ready to accept everyone’s “mockery.”
However.
He noticed one gaze that wasn’t laughing.
Gu Zhiyuan was still sitting on that little folding stool, his hands gripping his thighs tightly.
His eyes were fixed straight ahead on the now-dark monitor screen, his gaze fluctuating violently.
“Director Gu?”
Jiang Ci’s heart skipped a beat. Did he overdo it and give the director a heart attack?
“Director Gu, this… is it too exaggerated? Should I tone it down and do another take?” Jiang Ci asked tentatively.
Gu Zhiyuan suddenly stood up. The movement was so forceful that the folding stool beneath him was knocked over.
He rushed in front of Jiang Ci and grabbed him.
“Jiang Ci…”
Gu Zhiyuan’s voice was trembling.
“You understand… you actually really understand…”
Jiang Ci was utterly confused. “Understand what? I just understand this lemon is pretty sour.”
“No! This isn’t just sour!”
Gu Zhiyuan’s expression was frenzied. He pointed at the monitor. “This is what I wanted! This is the highest level of comedy I imagined!”
“Tearing tragedy apart to show people is Zhou Shuren. Chewing up tragedy and spitting it out as a joke, that’s Chaplin!”
“That wink just now, that twitch, that loud burp…”
Gu Zhiyuan stared intently at Jiang Ci. “You were laughing. Everyone was laughing.”
“But Jiang Ci, through that ridiculous smile,”
“I saw a lowly nobody, using all his strength to maintain that pitiful bit of dignity in the face of life, his utter wretchedness!”
“This is the soul of ‘King of Extras’! This is true black humor!”
Jiang Ci: ”…”
He opened his mouth, wanting to explain that he really just couldn’t control his facial muscles because it was too sour,
and that he really was just trying to be funny and make everyone laugh.
But looking at Gu Zhiyuan’s fanatical expression, like someone who has heard the truth and could die content,
Jiang Ci swallowed his words.