Chapter 419: Facekini and Wealthy Flowers, Redefining "Fashion"
At nine in the morning, the sun was scorching.
On Sanya’s beach, waves kept crashing against the rocks.
Director Wu Tong, wearing sunglasses and holding a megaphone, stood under a beach umbrella, full of swagger.
“Teachers! The beach fashion shoot for the first episode of ‘Romantic Trip with Family’ begins now!”
The first to walk out was Zhao Kuo Tai’s family.
Zhao Kuo Tai had gone all out today.
Her diamond-encrusted one-piece swimsuit glittered in the sunlight so intensely that the cinematographer nearly had to look away.
Old Zhao was wearing a matching Burberry floral shirt, but he clearly hadn’t snapped out of the morning’s scallion pancake haze, his eyes a little dazed.
“Perfect!” Wu Tong led the applause. “This is the high-class feel we’re going for!”
Next came Lin Ouyang and his mother.
Lin Ouyang wore a tight wetsuit, zipped down to his chest, revealing his meticulously trained pectoral lines.
He also held a surfboard that had never touched water, striking a magazine-cover pose.
The bullet comments were filled with fangirl screams: [Gege is so handsome!] [That body is insane!]
“Next up, let’s welcome—Jiang Ci’s family!”
Wu Tong’s voice pitched higher with anticipation.
After all, he was a top-star film emperor. Even with a budget travel theme, his looks alone should make anything he wears look like a poster, right?
All camera angles zoomed in.
The curtain to the changing room was pulled open.
Even the sea breeze seemed to awkwardly pause.
The first to walk out was… a green unknown creature.
Chu Hong wore a fluorescent green hood that only exposed her mouth, nose, and eyes, a bright pink scarf wrapped around her neck, and a long-sleeved, long-panted one-piece sun-protection suit.
This was the legendary beach-conquering weapon—the facekini.
Following behind her, Jiang Ci was a sight that darkened the eyes.
That melancholic, broken-feeling film emperor was gone.
In his place was a spirited young man wearing oversized shorts printed with huge, bright red peonies and a battered straw hat.
The peonies on the shorts blazed a brilliant red.
“Pfft—”
The cinematographer’s hand jerked, and the lens nearly plunged into the sand.
Wu Tong’s sunglasses slid down his nose, his mouth wide enough to fit a coconut.
After a two-second mental lag, the live stream’s bullet comments exploded:
[What the hell!!! My eyes!]
[Is this really Jiang Ci? Looks more like the village idiot!]
[Who’s the green-headed monster? Don’t tell me that’s Empress Dowager Chu!]
[Redefining fashion! What kind of hellish outfit is this hahahaha!]
Zhao Kuo Tai fanned herself with her lace folding fan and rolled her eyes so hard they nearly fell out. “Heavens, where did this country bumpkin come from?”
Chu Hong, through the two dark holes of the facekini, shot Zhao Kuo Tai a glance.
“Sister, you don’t know a thing.”
Chu Hong’s voice was muffled through the mask, but her presence was undiminished. “This is called physical sun protection.”
“With all that exposed skin and legs, you’ll get sunburned in a bit, and you won’t know where to cry.”
She then pointed at Jiang Ci’s peony shorts. “And my son’s pants—pure cotton, breathable! Isn’t that blossoming wealth pattern festive?”
Lin Ouyang looked down at his tight wetsuit and suddenly felt a bit constricted.
Jiang Ci, with a look of utter resignation, tugged at his straw hat, trying to hide his face.
“Mom, maybe we shouldn’t explain anymore,” Jiang Ci whispered in protest. “These pants… they’re a bit drafty.”
“Drafty is right!” Chu Hong slapped her son on the back. “Be bold! We’re here to live life, not sell flesh.”
Just as the two sides were deadlocked over “earthy” versus “fancy,”
a bright yellow dot suddenly drifted in from the distant sea.
As it got closer, they saw it was an inflatable kayak.
On the kayak lay an old man in a large vest and shorts, wearing sunglasses,
casually drifting with the waves.
The kayak swayed with the surf and washed up onto the beach,
stopping right at everyone’s feet.
The old man took off his sunglasses, revealing a face weathered by sun and wind but still spirited.
It was the veteran actor recognized as a titan in the industry, having won every domestic and international film emperor award—Huang Jiahui.
Behind him, an elderly woman with graying hair was struggling to pull her foot out of the kayak.
“Oh, quite the lively scene here?”
Huang Jiahui looked around, his gaze pausing for half a second on Zhao Kuo Tai’s diamond swimsuit, then shaking his head.
Then his eyes landed on Jiang Ci’s peony shorts.
They lit up instantly.
“Hey! Those pants are great!”
Huang Jiahui strode over and felt the fabric of Jiang Ci’s pant leg:
“Pure cotton poplin, right? The color is perfect! Festive! Down-to-earth! Looks like someone who knows how to live!”
Jiang Ci didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, so he just bowed. “Hello, Teacher Huang.”
“Hello my ass.” Huang Jiahui waved his hand. “Call me Uncle. Call me Teacher on set, but where’s the teacher here?”
He turned to Zhao Kuo Tai and mercilessly teased, “Dressed like a disco ball on a hot day, preparing for a coronation? Isn’t that uncomfortable?”
Zhao Kuo Tai’s face flushed red from the jab. She wanted to retort, but facing this industry titan,
she dared not act rashly and swallowed her anger.
Wu Tong hurried over. “Teacher Huang! Why did you paddle over yourself? We had arranged a shuttle…”
“That car was too stuffy, suffocating.” Huang Jiahui waved his hand. “Your auntie and I camped on that beach last night in a tent. Listened to the waves all night—so comfortable!”
The bullet comments went wild again:
[This season’s guests are too hardcore!]
[Uncle Huang is truly a master of humble bragging! Bored with a villa so he sleeps in a tent!]
[Jiang Ci’s taste finally got official approval! The wealth blossoms won big!]
Everyone had arrived.
Wu Tong cleared his throat, trying to steer the proceedings back on track.
“Since everyone’s here, let’s announce today’s lunch mission!”
Wu Tong pointed to the volleyball net behind him. “Beach volleyball! The winning family gets this table of sumptuous seafood ingredients!”
A staff member pulled back the red cloth.
A table of… frozen seafood.
Chu Hong glanced at it and immediately looked away with disdain.
“That’s it?” Chu Hong sneered. “Those shrimp have been dead for eight hundred years. Even a cat would shake its head at them.”
Wu Tong stammered, “This… this was air-freighted…”
“Enough, skip the empty talk.”
Chu Hong directly cut off the director.
“Play ball? It’s noon, and we’ll get heatstroke.”
Chu Hong pulled a small red plastic bucket from her canvas bag and headed straight for the beach.
Jiang Ci sighed, adjusted his straw hat, and resignedly followed.
“Director Wu, looks like your volleyball game will have to be rescheduled.”
As Jiang Ci passed Wu Tong, he patted the director on the shoulder. “My mom’s a bit childish.”
Wu Tong stood there, megaphone in hand, completely flustered.
This wasn’t in the script!
The reef area.
Slippery and treacherous.
But for Chu Hong, this was her battlefield.
“Holy shit!”
A vigorous shout.
Chu Hong’s iron tongs were lightning-fast. She stabbed them into a crevice, twisted, and
a palm-sized green crab was yanked out, waving its pincers fiercely.
“This big!” Chu Hong grinned from ear to ear. “Son! Get the bucket! This one’s perfect for steaming!”
Jiang Ci quickly handed over the bucket.
“Over there! Under that rock! Those are spicy snails! Grab a bunch!”
“Oh damn! There’s an octopus here! Hey! Trying to run?”
Lin Ouyang had initially been standing on dry land, trying to keep his cool, but as he watched, his Adam’s apple bobbed.
“Mom, that crab… looks pretty fat.”
Lin’s mom was still reapplying sunscreen. “Disgusting, all muddy.”
“Um…” Lin Ouyang secretly slipped off his shoes and rolled up his pants. “I’ll just take a look. Maybe I’ll find a shell or something.”
Five minutes later.
“Aaaah! I got it! Mom! Look! A mantis shrimp this big!”
Lin Ouyang didn’t care about his idol image anymore. He was lying face-down in the mud, holding up a lively, kicking mantis shrimp.
Old Zhao had been itching to join in.
Taking advantage of Zhao Kuo Tai touching up her makeup, he snuck over to Huang Jiahui.
“Old brother, how do you catch these things?” Old Zhao pointed at the crab in the rock crevice, his hands twitching with excitement.
“Don’t use your hands, they’ll pinch you!” Huang Jiahui handed him a branch. “Poke it in the rear, poke it out!”
Old Zhao, worth over a hundred million, bent over, fully focused on poking a rock crevice.
“It’s coming out! It’s coming out!” Old Zhao was flushed with excitement. “Got it! Hey! This thing’s got some strength!”
Finally, only Zhao Kuo Tai remained on shore.
She watched the group rolling in the mud, her expression shifting from disdain to… longing.
Just then, Jiang Ci straightened up and called out to Zhao Kuo Tai, “Auntie Zhao! There seems to be a big one in that puddle by your foot!”
“What?” Zhao Kuo Tai instinctively looked down.
In a small tide pool, a red, unidentified sea fish was spinning around stupidly.
The temptation of something “within easy reach” shattered Zhao Kuo Tai’s psychological defenses.
“Mine!”
Zhao Kuo Tai let out a shriek, tossed aside her fan, kicked off her high heels, lifted her skirt, and charged down.
“Don’t move! That’s my fish!”
Haute couture, elegance—screw it all.
Wu Tong stood on the shore, looking at the “chaotic carnival” of guests through the camera, and despairingly covered his face.
Two hours later.
That little red bucket was overflowing.
Even Zhao Kuo Tai’s expensive straw hat had been commandeered, filled to the brim with clams.
Everyone returned to the villa with their spoils, covered in mud but beaming with joy.
The sandwiches prepared by the director’s team sat on the table, untouched.
“Got a light!”
Chu Hong commandeered the large iron pot used by the fishermen to guard the fish pond.
No complex seasonings were needed.
Washed clean with seawater, straight into the pot.
Add a few slices of ginger, pour in half a bottle of erguotou to remove the fishy smell.
High heat, fast cooking.
Ten minutes later, the pot lid was lifted.
Bright red crabs, tender pink mantis shrimp, open-mouthed clams, and those sea fish stewed until their flesh was falling apart.
This was the true taste of the sea.
“Let’s eat!”
Chu Hong gave the order.
No utensils, straight to the hands.
Zhao Kuo Tai looked at the blackened iron pot and instinctively frowned. “This is so unhygien…”
Before she could finish, Jiang Ci shoved a freshly grilled giant prawn into her hand.
The shell was charred and crispy, revealing snow-white meat, steaming hot.
Zhao Kuo Tai swallowed her saliva.
Forget it, even if it kills me.
She closed her eyes and took a bite.
The next second, her eyes flew open.
“So delicious!”
Zhao Kuo Tai threw caution to the wind. She peeled the shrimp in two bites and licked every bit of grease off her fingers.
Lin Ouyang ate without lifting his head, a small mountain of crab shells piling up in front of him.
Huang Jiahui held his thermos cup, took a sip of wine, and sighed, “This is the life!”
Wu Tong, hiding behind the monitor, listened to the sounds of slurping and praise, and his stomach betrayed him with a growl.
He looked at his cold boxed lunch and suddenly felt that he was the one suffering.
The live stream’s popularity broke fifty million.
#Everyone_Goes_Beachcombing, #JiangCi_WealthBlossomShorts, and #ZhaoKuoTai_SuckingFingers dominated the trending list.
Netizens commented:
[This is definitely the most appetizing variety show I’ve ever watched! No contest!]
[Forget fashion shoots, I love this down-to-earth stuff!]
[I want to eat that hotpot stew, I’m crying from craving!]