Chapter 421: Whose Square Dance Looks Like Plants vs. Zombies?

The evening breeze carried a salty, fishy scent.

The two large iron woks were already scraped clean.

Zhao Kuo Tai was sprawled on a rattan chair, listlessly waving her lace folding fan.

Old Zhao had a toothpick dangling from his lips, his eyes squinted in contentment.

“Come on, let’s walk off the food.” Chu Hong stood up, brushing the sand off her pant legs.

Director Wu Tong immediately tensed up, blocking the villa’s entrance:

“Esteemed guests! According to the rules, tonight’s ‘Hearthside Chat’ segment is indoors. You can’t leave the group on your own…”

“Chat my ass.” Old Zhao let out a thunderous belch. “If you sit around like a lump after stuffing yourself, you’re just fattening yourself up like a pig.”

Huang Jiahui strolled over slowly, hands clasped behind his back: “Little Wu, don’t be so rigid.”

“Art comes from life. If you won’t let us experience life, how can we make art?”

Wu Tong looked at these guests, who moments ago had been “life-and-death comrades,” and silently withdrew his blocking hand.

…

A kilometer from the villa area, the town’s central square was in full chaos.

Speakers roared. On the left was The Most Dazzling Ethnic Wind, on the right was The Drunken Butterfly.

Nearly a hundred aunties in matching uniforms were spinning, leaping, and dancing with their eyes closed.

“Such a scene…” Lin Ouyang instinctively adjusted his sunglasses.

As an idol, he had a natural sensitivity to rhythm, and his body couldn’t help wanting to sway along.

Chu Hong stood at the edge, arms crossed, eyes sharp.

“Too soft.” Chu Hong shook her head. “No strength in the waist, no foundation in the legs. They’re just flailing their arms around. Looks lively, but they won’t even break a sweat.”

Jiang Ci stood nearby, still holding his water gun. At her words, he raised an eyebrow: “Mom, all talk and no action. This is their turf. You’re basically challenging the boss.”

“Challenging the boss?” Chu Hong snorted coldly. “Back in the day, when I was the lead dancer at the Third Factory Compound, these old sisters were still home babysitting their grandkids.”

Before she finished speaking, Chu Hong stepped into the dance floor.

Her entire aura transformed.

Her movements were crisp and clean, her timing on the beat so precise it was frightening.

The few local aunties who had been leading the dance caught a glimpse of this “hardcore” newcomer out of the corner of their eye.

Their movements unconsciously slowed a beat, their eyes wide with shock.

Three minutes.

Just three minutes.

With Chu Hong as the center, the surrounding aunties unconsciously shifted their formation, starting to follow her rhythm.

She became the center position of this square.

“What are you standing there for? Get in!” Chu Hong turned back and barked at Jiang Ci. “Don’t just stand there like a wooden post!”

Jiang Ci sighed, tucking the water gun into his belt.

“Come on, Teacher Lin, Aunt Zhao.” Jiang Ci turned back and made an inviting gesture.

Lin Ouyang hesitated: “This… doesn’t fit my stage style…”

The next second, he was yanked into the formation by Jiang Ci.

The music switched to a fast-paced DJ remix of a revolutionary song.

Jiang Ci didn’t showcase his actor’s body coordination.

Instead, he held his limbs stiffly and flat, hopping up and down to the beat.

If you didn’t look at his face, he was the spitting image of the cone-headed zombie from Plants vs. Zombies.

“Hahahaha!” The gathered townsfolk burst into deafening laughter.

“This young man looks sharp, but why is he dancing like he’s been electrocuted?”

“That’s called popping! You don’t get it!”

Jiang Ci’s face was expressionless. He even threw in a perfectly timed eye roll,

perfectly embodying that “forced to do his job” vibe of utter defeat.

On the bullet comments:

[Help! Where’s the Film Emperor’s idol image? This is a zombie apocalypse!]

[Jiang Ci is totally doing this on purpose! But I laughed so hard my face mask cracked!]

[Lin Ouyang looks so awkward standing next to him. Look, he’s starting to move the same arm and leg!]

Thanks to Jiang Ci’s disruption, Lin Ouyang completely gave up on managing his expression.

He could only clumsily imitate the aunties’ moves, twisting into a yangge dance.

On the other side, Zhao Kuo Tai faced the biggest “crisis” of her life.

She had initially just been standing demurely at the edge, but then she was surrounded by a group of aunties on a break.

“Little sister, that dress of yours is so pretty. Where did you buy it?”

“Oh my, your skin is so well-maintained, not a single wrinkle. What kind of cream do you use?”

Zhao Kuo Tai had heard plenty of flattery in her life, but most of it came with ulterior motives and hypocrisy.

Yet the eyes of these aunties in front of her were sincere. Their envy was tangible and real.

Zhao Kuo Tai’s vanity was gratified to an unprecedented degree.

“This… I brought this back from abroad.” Zhao Kuo Tai’s voice was warm and friendly.

“Big sister, if you like it, I’ll send you a bottle of that eye cream later. It’s great for wrinkles!”

“Really? Oh, I’d be too embarrassed!”

Ten minutes later, Zhao Kuo Tai was already calling these aunties her sisters and was even imparting her “secret technique for handling a husband.”

As for Old Zhao and Huang Jiahui?

They had long since slipped away to the chess stall in the corner of the square.

Old Zhao rolled up his sleeves, propped his foot on a stone pier, and pointed at the chessboard, spittle flying:

“Knight move! Damn, old pal, that was a terrible move! You should have pushed the pawn!”

The chairman of a hundred-billion-yuan company was arguing himself red in the face with a shirtless old man over a pawn that had crossed the river.

Huang Jiahui watched with a smile from the side, occasionally interjecting a word or two,

a handful of melon seeds someone had given him in his hand, cracking them noisily.

Director Wu Tong hid behind his monitor, watching Jiang Ci, who was laughing like an idiot in the crowd,

and then at Zhao Kuo Tai, who was teaching the aunties how to pose with their silk scarves.

His nose suddenly stung.

He had originally wanted to film drama, conflict, the embarrassing fall of celebrities from their altar.

But he hadn’t expected to capture something far more precious.

The breath of life.

This was the true “Romantic Trip with Family.”

…

Late at night, eleven o’clock.

On the way back to the villa, everyone was a little quiet.

Lin Ouyang’s mother walked behind, watching her son humming a tune ahead of her, her eyes slightly red.

“This child…” Lin’s Mom said softly. “He’s been in the industry for five years. This is the first time I’ve seen him laugh so happily. Before, even when he won an award, he was always tense.”

Chu Hong walked beside her, still holding half a bag of melon seeds she hadn’t finished.

“Children are kites.” Chu Hong patted Lin’s Mom’s hand, her tone calm but penetrating.

“We hold the string, but he has to fly with the wind.”

“If you always try to make him fly your route, he’ll snap.”

Lin’s Mom was stunned, lost in thought.

At the back of the group, Huang Jiahui deliberately lagged a few steps to walk side by side with Jiang Ci.

The night was deep, the sound of the waves echoing in their ears.

Huang Jiahui pulled a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and offered one to Jiang Ci.

Jiang Ci waved his hand: “I don’t smoke. Bad for my throat.”

Huang Jiahui didn’t insist. He didn’t light one either, just toyed with it in his hand. “I’ve seen the trailer for ‘Icebreaker.’”

Jiang Ci stopped in his tracks.

“That madman Jiang Wen trained you well.”

Huang Jiahui looked at the lighthouse in the distance. “There’s something in your eyes now. That turn-around shot was interesting.”

Jiang Ci lowered his head: “Teacher Huang flatters me.”

“But…” Huang Jiahui changed the subject, staring into Jiang Ci’s eyes.

“The tree that stands out in the forest will be felled by the wind. In this business, praise-killing is more dangerous than blunt-force attacks. You’re rising too fast. Your foundation isn’t solid.”

“Today’s square dance was good. It keeps you grounded. It might save your life.”

Jiang Ci’s heart trembled.

He understood.

“Thank you for the advice, Old Master Huang.”

Huang Jiahui smiled and tucked the cigarette back into the pack.

“Alright, enough with the formalities. Make me two of those scallion pancakes tomorrow. Make sure the edges are crispy.”

…

That night, Weibo’s trending list was completely overloaded.

#JiangCi KingOfSquareDance#

#PlantsVsZombiesRealLife#

#ChuHong Dominance#

#ThisIsTheLifeIImagine#

Hundreds of millions of reads, countless passersby turned into fans.

The comment section was no longer the same old canned praise, but genuine, roaring laughter.

[I was almost depressed watching the ‘Icebreaker’ trailer, but this show made me laugh like a pig! Jiang Ci’s gap moe is incredible!]

[Empress Dowager Chu is mighty! She dominates the entire scene!]

[Suddenly I feel like celebrities are just people too. They also get stressed about not getting the center position, hahahaha!]

Back in the villa, Jiang Ci took a shower and lay down on the small bed in the servant’s quarters.

His phone had been confiscated, so he could only listen to the chirping of insects outside the window.

The door creaked open a crack.

Chu Hong walked in with a glass of warm milk.

“Drink this.” Chu Hong put the glass on the bedside table. “You were sweating a lot from that dance. Replenish your calcium.”

Jiang Ci picked up the milk. The warmth spread from his fingertips through his whole body.

“Mom.”

“What?”

“Next time, don’t make me wear those peony-print shorts. They’re really drafty.”

“Less talk. Go to sleep!”

Chu Hong closed the door.

Jiang Ci took a sip of the milk and smiled.

That night, he slept without a single dream.